Miss

It's a word far too innocent to describe the visceral, heart-wrenching longing that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Somehow, it just doesn't seem like enough to say, "I miss her." It seems too frivilous, too light-hearted, too temporary.

A lot of the time, but today especially, I miss my fiancé's mother. She passed away in June. I never blogged about it because I just couldn't figure out the words at the time. Today is her birthday. Thursday is Thanksgiving, and we would have been subjected to the 24 hour marathon of her favorite movie, A Christmas Story. Friday she would have had a wild story about her early morning shopping trip with her best friend. And then she would have decked the house for Christmas, and everything would have been right in the world.

But that's not what's going to happen. I am going to wake up and still be angry because my fiancé lost his mom way too early.

When old people die, there is some sort of closure, knowing that they lived a long and happy life and got to see their children and grandchildren and sometimes even great-grandchildren grow and succeed. But when younger people die, there is just too much sense of unfinished business. It makes me angry to think about all the things she won't be around for.

Day 09: a photo of yourself when you were a baby.

My mom and me when I was a baby.

Day 08: a photo of something you enjoy doing.

What was your favorite birthday gift?

The car I got for my 16th birthday.

Ask me anything

Day 07: a photo of something you stand for.

Hope for a cure. Hope for equality. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for success. Hope for happiness. Hope for love. Hope for peace. I think that's something we should all stand for.

Day 06: a photo of someone you love.

Maybe I cheated a little, because this is a photo of me and someone I love, but you'll get over it. This is my younger cousin, but he's more like a brother. Our moms are twins and we grew up right next to each other. This was at his high school graduation celebration at church, May 2009.

Day 05: a photo that makes you laugh.

Three words: Golden Cheesecake Balls.

My Wonderful Fiancé: I don't know how to eat them.
Me: Just stick 'em in your mouth!

Day 04: a photo of a place you’d like to visit.

In the last year or so, I have become obsessed with visiting Puerto Rico. Here's hoping I can convince My Wonderful Fiancé to honeymoon there (belatedly, of course, since our wedding is in the middle of hurricane season).

Day 03: a photo that makes you happy.

I think this one is self-explanatory. :D

Day 02: a photo of yourself at least a year ago.

This is me on the train car inside the museum at Turner Field in Atlanta, May 2009. I miss this haircut.

Day 01: a photo of you today.

Pardon my semi-sloppy appearance, as I am about to go to bed. This is me in the bedroom of my new apartment. Love the random brick wall. There's one in the living room, too. Can't wait for My Wonderful Fiancé to see this place.

New Beginnings

So, I have done it. I took a new job in a new city and moved three hours away from everyone and everything I love. I landed a full-time position at a publishing company I've been freelancing for since December, and now I'm Senior Staff Writer for a wedding magazine and an arts & entertainment magazine. My Wonderful Fiancé and our big fluffy cat, Tibbot, will be joining me soon. Right now, it's just me and our new little tuxedo kitten, Oscar. (The kitties haven't met yet; that's going down this weekend. We'll see how that goes.)

Anyway, to keep myself a little occupied, I decided to try the 30 Day Photo Challenge that was posted on My Cheap Version of Therapy. This is partly out of regret that I'm not participating in NaNoWriMo (which I am so doing next year).

I would love to do the 30 Days of Truth as well, because some of the topics (Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.) got me really excited. However, there are just some things (Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.) I couldn't be completely honest about because I wouldn't want to hurt someone's feelings if they stumbled upon the post. Perhaps another day...

Now, I don't know that I'll remember be able to post every single day, but I want to complete the 30 posts regardless.

The 30 Day Photo Challenge

Picture topics:

Day 01: a photo of you today.
Day 02: a photo of yourself at least a year ago.
Day 03: a photo that makes you happy.
Day 04: a photo of a place you’d like to visit.
Day 05: a photo that makes you laugh.
Day 06: a photo of someone you love.
Day 07: a photo of something you stand for.
Day 08: a photo of something you enjoy doing.
Day 09: a photo of yourself when you were a baby.
Day 10: any photo you like for any reason.
Day 11: a photo of a night you loved.
Day 12: a photo of when you were happy.
Day 13: a photo of one of your favorite movies.
Day 14: a photo of your best friend (s)
Day 15: a photo of you and a family member
Day 16: a photo from your childhood
Day 17: a photo of something that has changed your life
Day 18: a photo of your town.
Day 19: a photo that makes you laugh.
Day 20: a photo of something you ate today.
Day 21: a photo of somebody you find attractive.
Day 22: a photo that you associate a good memory with.
Day 23: a photo of something you want to do someday.
Day 24: a photo of what you want to be when you grow up.
Day 25: a photo that inspires you.
Day 26: a photo of your favorite subject in school.
Day 27: a photo of something you are looking forward to.
Day 28: a photo of something/somebody that made your day.
Day 29: a photo of your favorite person from history.
Day 30: a photo you find beautiful.